Word On The Street - Literally
Conversation overheard in a nairobi bar in the late 90’s before mobiles became a ‘must have’ gadget and GPRS was a threatening prospect for couples:
A:Hello?
B: Hi - I have been trying to reach you all evening
A: Eh… um… is that you sweetie?
B: Yeah! who did you think I was?
A: No, No.. its just that - how did you know I was here?
At the westlands post office in the line for stamps one afternoon:
A lady is last in line and a messenger loaded with letters approaches her…
Messenger:Madam is this the line?
Lady:No, we are just standing around for fun.
I heard this in a bar. Some cretin was shouting into his phone.
“WHY WOULD YOU CALL FROM A PLACE WITH NO NETWORK?!”
Campus drunks asking a boiled egg seller along Koinange Street “how much do these 10 bob eggs cost?”
Banana Minister: They don’t wan’t the new constitution because they
are hungry for power!
Orange Minister: If we are hungry for power, why did you form your OWN
political party?
Guy to fully armed and uniformed GSU Officer: So, dude, which security company do you work for? EARS?
Q: How many MPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None….
Half of them support to change the light bulb while the other half say that changing the light bulb is bad for their tribes.
The 2 sides are named Mo Rons and E Diots.
They go to Mombasa for a lightbulb-changing retreat to resolve to change the light bulb.
2 of them get arrested for storming a lightbulb-changing session and causing violence while several flock to K-street to learn the screwing aspect of changing a light bulb.
MPs whip up their tribes into violent frenzy pitting those opposing the lightbulb changing against those supporting the light bulb changing.
They break the light bulb and make the whole country look uncivilized and village-idiotic in the eyes of well lightbulb-changed countries.
Dude #1 : How many kenyan mp’s does it take to screw a light bulb?
Dude #2 : 222, plus 12 nominated
WOULD-BE TRAVELLER: Are there any seats left in the matatu?
TOUT: Did you leave them being removed?
Woman: Do you have any seats left in the bus?
Tout: Madam, we even have a table!